


Showtime

by shushumimi123



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Crack, Funny, M/M, Some super fun ocs too, Theatre Kids, Too funny not to write, this is just for fun guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 13:05:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14356110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shushumimi123/pseuds/shushumimi123
Summary: The seventh-years are preparing for a show on the Founders of Hogwarts





	Showtime

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I am sorry  
> 2\. Freya and Thea are the OCs of LittleRose13  
> 3\. I just had to write this. Hate it or love it I couldn't stop laughing  
> 4\. Hope you guys enjoy xx

"I look great. Man, red really is my colour." Rose praised herself as accessed herself in the mirror, stroking her beard and starting her faux sorting hat on her head.

Albus stepped out from behind the curtain in a long green dress and laughed. "Nice beard Rose."

"Thanks, I grew it myself," she teased and turned around, covering her mouth and holding back a giggle. "Nice dress, Al."

Al scoffed and turned away, twirling the edge of his moustache. "It's not a dress. It's called a houppelande," he said, matter-a-factly. 

Rose rolled her eyes and adjusted her hat. "Oh, whoops. Sorry. Didn't know you became a fashion expert."

"Okay, is everyone ready," Scorpius called out from in front of the stage, walking over to Thea. "How're the lights looking?"

Thea was adjusting the candles just right around the stage with the waves of her wand, biting her lip in concentration. "Almost perfect, Mr. Producer, sir." She meant it as a joke, but they way Scorpius smiled and squared up his shoulders proved that he did not care. 

He looked around for the set overall set up of the stage. The Great hall was rearranged entirely as an auditorium for tonight's performance for the Seventh year's Production of 'The story of Hogwarts.' It would be a one and only show Produced and directed by Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy and co-written by himself and Thea Jordan. After a month of practicing every day, everything seemed set. Just one more run through and Scorpius would be at ease.

"Right," he said and looked at the stage. "Freya? How're the costumes? Is everyone in them?"

"Yeah! Just helping Mickey with the finishing touches!" Freya yelled from behind the curtains.

Rose and Albus walked over to centre stage and Albus smirked and winked at Scorpius. "Hey, Mr. Producer. Looking dashing as always," he hummed, and Scorpius felt himself blush just adjusted his clipboard from one hand to the others. 

"I see your costume fits," he said as he unmistakably checked Albus out. Even with a silly mustache, Scorpius could still appreciate him.

Thea let out an audible gasp and placed her hand over her mouth in shock. "Fraternizing with the actors, Mr. Producer? How scandalous," she mocked in a ditzy-voice, and the girls giggled.

"Uh no, don't let Rita Skeeter catch a whiff of this" Rose added in the same voice and Albus smacked her right in her fake stomach.

Rose jumped before snickering. "Al, you can't hurt me. I literally have a pillow in here," she said and poked her rounded stomach. "It makes me sexy," she drawled out, and Albus raised his eyebrow

"Yeah, cause nothing attracts the ladies by showing how much food you can consume," he said sarcastically.

"That's true though," Scorpius injected. "Back in the day being larger was a sign of wealth and was considered very attractive."

Thea nodded and reached over and patted his shoulder. "Cool fact, textbook," she said and gave him an innocent smile. 

Rose smirked and flexed her arms. "Hell yeah, I- Godric am a total stud. Chick magnet one-hundred percent," she raved on and kissed her fake bicep. 

"Speaking of chicks," Freya's voice called out, and everyone turned to the back where she stepped out, holding the curtain open. "Everyone, meet Helga."

Mickey stepped out in a short brunette wig and with a pound of blush on his face grinned at them. He wore a big yellow gown with a deep neckline. And when they looked very closely, they could see just the tops of cantaloupes peeking through, and Rose and Al died. 

Albus was clutching his stomach laughing, and Rose had her hand on his back, keeping herself upright as she wiped a tear from her eyes. "Oh my Merlin's beard, Mickey, I love you," she wheezed and walked over, slinging her arm around his shoulder.

"Bloody brilliant, Freya. Best costume by far," Albus managed to say, breathless from the laughing and went to go to Mikey's other side and the three headed front stage.

Mikey smirked and moved his hips. "Well, looks like Helga sure knew how to get the guys," he bragged and shimmied his chest.

"Mikey, you are a real star for doing this. You look amazing. And your boobs, mate. They're just so," Albus cupped his hands around his own chest, trying to find the word. "Big."

Rose snickered while Mikey just shook his head at Al. "Was that your attempt at being a straight guy?"

Albus nodded seriously. "Yup."

"You're hopeless, mate," Mikey teased and leaned against Rose, which was odd since she was almost a half foot shorter. "Well, why don't we leave Salazar and find some time to ourselves," Mikey suggested, wiggling his eyebrow.

Rose smirked back. "Damn, I really hit the jackpot with this one," she said in her gruff, Godric voice.

Scorpius, who had been watching, wanting to correct them that Gryffindor and Hufflepuff weren't actually a couple, but both Freya and Thea just shushed him.

Albus rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, scoffing. "Oh, so you're going to play it like that, huh? Well, I got a lady of my own," he said and looked around. "Rowena, where are you?" he asked and paused, seriously looking around. "Rowena?"

Scorpius looked around the stage for Nancy- the Ravenclaw girl acting as Rowena Ravenclaw- but she was nowhere to be seen. "Where is Nancy," Scorpius asked Freya, and she just shrugged.

"I'm right here."

Scorpius, Thea and Freya yelped and turned around and low and behold, Nancy, in costume was standing right behind them.

"Oh perfect. Come on, get on stage," Scorpius chirped, completely unaffected. But everybody else watched how the quiet Ravenclaw girl basically looked like she was floating up the stairs and onto the stage.

She said to stand between Helga (Mikey) and Salazar (Albus) as the four of them got into position.

"Hey Nancy, are you sure you don't just apparate around the school," Albus teased. 

"No, Albus. It is impossible to apparate inside the walls of Hogwarts," she replied in a soft yet serious voice, not even bothering to look at him once.

Albus opened his mouth to say something but felt a loss of words. Nancy wasn't the easiest person to talk to. And with the look Mikey gave him, he felt stupid for even trying.

Scorpius clapped his hands to get everyone's attention"Alright, let's start from the beginning," he called out and stood in front of the middle of the stage, Thea waving her wand around for the lights and Freya holding her finger up to give the actors the right time to start. When she flicked it up, Rose stepped forward.

Rose placed her hands on her hips and let out a bellowing laugh. "How you doin'. Name's Godric. But you can call me Gryfinndor. And I'm the most courageous, daring and bravest person you will ever have the honour in meeting," she proclaimed while flexing her 'muscles' in various poses before stepping back in line, turning around for dramatic effect. 

"Wait, that wasn't in the script before," Scorpius whispered, and Thea patted his back. "I wanted to add some pizazz. You add the facts, I add the fun, remember?" She whispered back, and Scorpius couldn't help but pout.

Mikey stepped up next and gave a very enthusiastic wave to the audience. "Hello everyone, I'm Helga Hufflepuff. My friends say I'm hardworking, patient and oh so very loyal," he said and batted his lashes. "But I don't like to boast," he added and blew a kiss and took a step back, turning around like Rose when he was done.

Scorpius glanced over at Freya who was proudly holding her fist to her chest. He couldn't help but shake his head. He wanted this to be an accurate portrayal, but everyone else shut him down. Oh well, there was no point fussing over it so late in the game.

Nancy was the next one to step up. She had her hands neatly folded in front of her, and she gave the audience an almost bored expression. "My name is Rowena Ravenclaw. I am wise and intelligent. But be not fooled. For I am too creative and a lover of all forms of arts and talents. I am pleased to make your acquaintance," she recited in a voice that wouldn't have been heard if they hadn't put up an amplifying spell around the stage. She then curtsied and turned around to join the others.

There was a cold chill in the room, and the Thea turned to the others. "I felt like I just watched the Grey Lady," she whispered.

Freya nodded. "Me too. Got to give it to her for the amazing acting though." Thea agreed, but Scorpius wasn't paying attention, he only sat up and smiled at the stage. Even with the audience being dark, Albus' eyes still managed to be on him.

Albus held a straight expression and stepped forward, breaking their eye-contact to look out to the crowd. 

"My name is Salazar Slytherin," he announced and placed his hands on his hips, and lifting his foot to rest it on a stage box. "Hiss hiss, motherfucker."

There was a beat before everybody lost it.

Mikey bent over laughing, almost losing his cantaloupes in the process. Rose ripped off her hat and fell to her knees, burying her face in it to muffle her voice.

Thea slapped the armrest of her seat and laughed louder than Rose. Freya was biting so hard down on Scorpius' clipboard that her face was turning red. Heck, even Nancy had a tiny grin on her face. This wasn't how it was supposed to go! It was wrong! All wrong!

"Cut!" Scorpius yelled and furiously waved his wand furiously to bring the lights up. "Albus," he groaned and pointed his finger accusingly at him. "What was that? You have to stay on script! And you can't swear!"

Albus just shrugged. "Oh, relax Scorp. It was only some pre-show humour," he said and high-fived Mikey and then Rose. He attempted to get one from Nancy, but she just gave a blank stare. 

Scorpius pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. "Albus, we don't have time for humour. Only the humour Thea wrote in. We need this to be perfect. The whole school will be here. Parents will be here. The Ministry will be here," he reminded, feeling somehow he was the only one who cared. 

Albus rolled his eyes and slowly made his way down the steps. "Come off it, Scor. We all know you did this whole thing because Beauxbaton said that we were a bunch of uncultured monkeys."

Scorpius sighed and hung his head. Albus was right. But it wasn't like it was a secret. "Yes, you're right. So what? We are a great school. With culture and a proud history. I wanna prove that to the world," Scorpius said, the pride of his school shining through.

"Yes, you're right, Mr. Head boy," Albus hummed and reached over to place his hands on his arms, slowly sliding them down until they could intertwine their fingers. "But you need to relax, okay? You're too tense."

Scorpius looked up and caught Albus devilish expression. His hushed voice exposed his intentions even more. "Al," he mumbled and glanced around. "Not in front of everybody."

Albus pretended not to notice and let his eyes rack over Scorpius' body with a smirk forming as he painfully slowly made his way up. 

"You know," Albus started and brushed his fingers over Scorpius' chest. "Under this houppelande, I'm not weari-" he leaned over to whisper the rest of the sentence into Scorpius' ear. And the poor Malfoy's eyes widened, and his face turned bright red.

"Really," he squeaked out, and Albus guided his arms around him. 

"Really," Albus purred. 

"How long have we stopped existing to them," Thea asked Rose, everybody stood in front of the stage and waited for the couple to hopefully split apart. 

Rose looked down at her watchless wrist and then back at her. "I say about fifteen seconds back."

"Gross," Mikey said when Scorpius took off Albus' moustache, and the two started to kiss.

Freya shrugged and gave them a nervous smile. "Kinda cute, right?" 

Everyone gave her a weird look, but no one had time to fight back because Albus' moan caught everyone off guard. 

"Okay, everybody out," Rose said, and everybody bolted to the exit.

Just as Mikey reached to shut the door, he raised his hand and flipped over the couple. "Suck a dick, Al!"

"I'm trying!" Albus shot back with an equally aggressive gesture.

Mikey slammed the door, and the group hurried away with a chorus of 'ews' while Scorpius hopped onto the stage with Albus climbing over him.

Needless to say, the show went great that night.


End file.
